Wednesday, January 25, 2006
hee.. so many things i wanna write today.. comes frm not blogging frequently... just to share somethings i learnt this week :)
the other day pas peter asked us "What do u think was the cost of Jesus dying on the cross?" (perhaps not exact) hmmz... i always thought that it was the suffering as well as death (spiritual death to be exact.. the moment God turned away frm Him) on the cross but i nvr thought the ans wud be wat pas peter shared -- that was tt Christ would forever be confined to a body and faced limitations for eternity because before the trinity was in fact spirit... i guess most of us nvr realli thought of tt...well it realli made me stop a think and certainly made me appreciate wat God did much more... hee.. so something to think abt...
anywayz... devotion!! haha... must haf been my longest devotion... i realli spent so much time thinking bout it... basically it talks abt the fear of God which leads to obedience... like the pple of Israel...well...firstly i must confess tt i haf been disobedient.. and by making decisions based on frens and family rather than God tt in itself shows the lack of fear of God... How serious!! but it is... and tt really made me think twice abt the decisions i make and the motives for which i do things... i wanna learn to be a God fearing not a man fearing person.... Look at Aaron he was called up the mountain but he chose to come down to be with the Israelites rather than God cause he felt more comfortable with man!! but the sad thing is how sometimes we are like tt!! so yepz.. i gotta watch my life (with God to help me of course!!)
yupz... something else i read also made me think of some recent events (ok.. not so recent le)
Therefore speak to them and tell them, 'This is what the Sovereign LORD says: When any Israelite sets up idols in his heart and puts a wicked stumbling block before his face and then goes to a prophet, I the LORD will answer him myself in keeping with his great idolatry. I will do this to recapture the hearts of the people of Israel, who have all deserted me for their idols.'Ezekiel 14:4-5Sometimes we seemingly pray and ask God for His opnion yet we covet certain things within our hearts.. so we ask and ask God yet we refuse to listen.. in the end as the verse says.. God will answer in keeping with our great idolatry.. which is what we covet... basically... we get wat we want in the end... but if we look at many cases.. tt does not save us for judgement.. just like how the Israelites complained for meat and God gave them quail but they still received God's judgement.. sometimes we wonder why everything goes wrong after God seemingly agrees...the thing we don't realise is tt God actualli unwillingly gives us wat we want even though He knows we will have to suffer judgement yet all this is so tt He can recapture our hearts... wow... it really made me think of wat i asked for some time back... the wanting of a relationship tt i knew i shudn even ask for from the start.. sure i prayed abt it yet within my heart i coveted it and i wasnt listening to God.. in the end God sort of allowed it to happen but what resulted was a lot of pain... and then after tt i wonder why God let it happen.. now i understand wat happened so much better.. i'm so silly rite.. but i'm certainly grateful cause it made me grow much closer to God.... haha.. anyway tt was just me rambling and reflecting..end of my sharing.. haha..
today i was in a whiney mood... wasn't feeling very well...had a realli bad cold this morning.. thank God it subsided but i felt realli weak after tt...and i felt quite down cause ian and i have been trying to meet for the past 2 mths and today he cudn make it again cause he was sick... but God was realli good cause He brought ez along for me to whine to...haha... anywayz later on the way home i was realli weak and tired.. i was dying to go home.. unfortunately the bus seemed to take forever to come.. thank God His presence was so comforting.. but it was realli great cause later rite due to the delay i actualli met ian on the bus!! we didn talk much.. still it's good to see a gd fren after such a long time.. thank you God for being my comfort and sending pple along to make me smile today :)
holding on to you.
10:46 PM
Sunday, January 22, 2006
whee... i've realised i've been happier..hee.. the joy of the Lord... it makes so much difference when u're bogged down wid sch work and when u're just spending time with the Lord.. i read frm somewhere tt if God says we shud "pray unceasingly" it also means He can speak unceasingly.. and it's realli whether we are ready to listen... it's great cause i've realli been hearing frm God... unceasingly wud be a bit of an exaggeration in this case .. but "a lot" is sufficient :) ... so happyz.. frm devotions.. frm readings.. frm class.. frm daily stuff.. etc etc.. whee!!! rite now i'm also really enjoyin the decision i made for the Lord cause there's such liberty when all u think abt is God...and all ur energy is on doing wat plses Him... i dun regret it... and maybe i'm realli finally totally letting go...oh how foolish i was last time... but He sets me free!! i love my girls.. i love to see them grow.. and it's like wow.. u can see their fruit when they actualli desire to serve the Lord... though it's quite scary when one of them cried today cause she didn noe where to serve.. but wow!! my girls are growing!! it saddens me tt i haf to move to another ministry... but i noe i haf to.. and i guess it's also for the sake of my girls too... so i'm just praying they'll just cont grow.. and tt their new cl will haf lots of wisdom on how to handle such a huge grp...and today i talk to pas becky!! i'm so excited bout wat she's going to do!! i wanna be there too!! she's been encouraging me to go.. but then.. money and parents.... ah well.. shall pray bout it... i haven't felt so motivated for so long... it's realli great to talk to someone who is likeminded.. she told me she's been crying a lot... i guess i've been crying a lot too.. (so funny rite... i think i scared the person next to me when i started cryin over one of the delegate's testimoney)... it's just tt i'm so overwhelmed by God's love for His pple... it's so jia lat even though i dun want to cry the tears start flowing...God is truly amazing :)i love u Lord!!!
holding on to you.
11:21 PM
Friday, January 20, 2006
i just realli wanna thank God for this week.. for seeing me thru sharing devotion... for speaking thru so many things... and yepz.. giving me a greater love for my team!! and letting me go for the mission trips!!
we'll be going to indonesia so pls pray!! esp since some of us are facing parental objection now.. yepz.. not exactly the safest of places to be going.. so pls keep us in prayer!!
have been reading the OT and i just remembered how last week i was just telling bren how God seems like such a distant and demanding and hard God is the OT.. yet today during pas Peter's class as he shared i realised wat a loving God He is.. most pple see the ten commandments as laws to ctrl the pple.. but when u do a deeper study.. we see how most of us tend to take the commandments as starting frm Exo 20:3 onwards but for the Israelites they see it as starting frm v2 and they remember that He is the Lord who brought them out of Israel... the sad thing is so many times as believers we tend to focus on what God doesn't allow us to do, what He does rather than who He is... and we notice how thruout the OT God administered His grace in various ways.. how there was the flood yet He saved Noah and his family and made a convenant... and yepz.. so many many more examples... at that i just can't stop but say that our God is truly amazing and our God realli is a loving God tt's never stopped loving His pple...
Praise His name forever!!!
soraklah haleluya!!
holding on to you.
11:40 PM
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Prayer is amazing.. i guess i've come a long way in my prayer walk.. in the past i used to just pray with regards to whatever i thought of.. but now i've learnt that it really is all about letting the Holy Spirit take over.. and praying according to the will of God Prayer is the means by which we become fused with God, to such an extent that God can easily flow into our affairs and we can easily flow into God's affairs. - Thomas Muthee, Senior Pastor of Prayer CaveSun's prayer was wonderful.. God kept planting thoughts and speaking through the prayers and i really experienced what it was like to be fused with God.. to pray till you realise somehow that you've got no control over your lips and that the words are just flowing out from your mouth...wow... so some ask why then do we pray if God knows already what we are going to ask for?? this was the qn that bugged both matt and i during the morning prayers.. and i guess the answer is really this... 1) that God has given ask the privilege to work with Him 2) prayer is really for us as a form of release to God (so it's for our sake) 3) prayer helps us to come to an understanding that we are really incapable to achieve anything without God.. it helps us to acknowledge our need for Him..i think it's really sad sometimes to see how our young pple don't pray.. because prayer should come as naturally as breathing to us.. and it realli is our means to communicate with our God... if we stop breathing then we really are spiritually dead... that is why i really believe in prayer and intercession...yupz... it's so exciting.. gonna discuss with matt on starting more prayer grps!! whee... ok.. i'm starting to ramble.. leading devotion tmr!! better go slp!!
holding on to you.
11:47 PM
Thursday, January 12, 2006
my first post for the year!! not that i've been realli slow.. just tt my post refuses to be published!! grr.. so anywayz.. yupz.. this yr started wid REAL!! and it's realli been great so far.. God has been doing a great work... lots of rebuking... but its realli good.. teach me to be humble... and helps me to grow.. can't imagine wat it'll be like if i stop growing in the Lord one day *shudders*
One Pure And Holy Passion
Give me one pure and holy passion
Give me one magnificent obsession
Give me one glorious ambition for my life
To know and follow hard after You
To know and to follow hard after you
To grow as your dicsiple in your truth
This world is empty, pale, and poor
Compared to knowing you, my Lord
Lead me on and I will run after you
Lead me on and I will run after you
a beautiful song and my prayer for this yr.. which is realli to learn wat it means to lead a Spirit-led life and to realli have a passion and hunger for God.. to know and to follow hard after Him... as from this yr.. i've also made a commitment to God to take 2 yrs off wid no r/s.. to heal and to realli give me attention to God, to love and to grow in Him.. nah i'm not crazy.. just crazy for the Lord :)
holding on to you.
8:47 PM
